How To Help Your Children Deal With Divorce
Going through a divorce can be tough, it can leave you feeling mentally drained and exhausted, especially when children are involved. Of course it is no shock that your marriage break up has been hard for your children to cope with.
This article will explain how you can make things a little easier for your children. Whilst offering them comfort, understanding and support.
Be as friendly with your ex-partner as possible
If possible, try and stay as friendly with your ex as possible. You may not like each other, but for your children’s sake an amicable separation is best. Children often find divorce easier to cope with if they can see that although their parents live in different houses, they are still the same people. Children can pick up on bad vibes and if all they see if parents expressing anger towards each other, they may mimic what they see.
Choose a reputable family lawyer
When finalizing your divorce and working out the custody arrangements, it is a good idea to hire a respected and experienced lawyer to deal with it. It is also a good idea to pick a lawyer who can offer support services to the children and family mitigation sessions if necessary. If you struggle to choose a good lawyer, ask friends or family members who have been through a divorce for a recommendation. There are hundreds of lawyers to choose from, like Aurora Divorce Lawyer Ned C Khan. So it is important to choose a lawyer that you can trust and respect.
Tell your child how loved they are
Regardless of how your ex-partner behaves, make sure that your children always know how loved they are. If you ex-partner often lets your child down, they may start to assume that they are to blame. They may think that if they were happier or funnier, their parent would want to spend more time with them. This kind of thinking can lead to your child’s self-esteem dropping. To combat this, reassure your child that the fact the other parent failed to show up is nothing to do with them. Explain that cancelling at the last minute wasn’t nice and shouldn’t have happened, but that it does not mean the child is not loved. One of the most important things to remember is to use your parenting skills to make your child feel as happy and safe as possible.
Always have a backup plan
If your ex-partner rarely shows up to collect the children when promised, make sure to have a backup plan in place for whenever they are meant to come and collect them. Whether it’s a trip to the zoo or a one-on-one activity with you, a fun activity or outing will help your children deal with being let down.
Don’t make excuses
If you sugarcoat the situation and make excuses for the other parent, it doesn’t allow your child to get their emotions out. If your child wants to express their feelings, let them do so without you making excuses for your ex-partner.
If your child asks questions about why you and your partner chose to break up, answer their questions carefully. Ensure that you always give them honest answers, without telling them too much adult information. For instance, if you and your partner broke up because they cheated on you, tell your child that you and your partner weren’t happy together. Don’t take this as an opportunity to bad mouth the other parent. You will only end up hurting your child in the process or telling them something they are too young to understand.